If you have reached your breaking point, that’s no surprise to me!
During my training as a marriage and family therapist, we were taught that when one person reaches a breaking point they will then push for systemic change within their marriage or family relationship. This push for change often leads other family members to backlash against the person who has pushed for change, creating some turmoil and conflict.
Usually after a period of time, there is a settling in as people adjust to the new changes and expectations.
The breaking point might be someone saying:
- I will no longer stay married if my partner continues to drink and drive
- My child’s behavior problems are getting worse, I have to be more consistent about setting behavioral consequences to extinguish bad behavior
- My partner has been neglecting my emotional needs for too long, if there is not an improvement, I will have to get a separation
- The children’s other parent is mistreating them, I will have to step in to protect my kids
- My parent is critical more than they are kind, and I am adult and will distance myself until this behavior changes
Breaking points can be for many different reasons, and it’s not that I advocate for people to threaten a separation or divorce or to create distance or cutoff in relationships.
However, sometimes I have observed that these threats and pushes for systemic change do ultimately help relationships to improve!
There have been situations when someone leaves or threatens to leave that their partner finally goes to anger management or gets sober or takes initiative to learn how to be more emotionally engaged with their family.
Every household environment is its own family system, and if you are fed up with yours …. if you have reached your breaking point….
Well, it might just be time for a behavioral change that will get the full attention of everyone else in the family. It might push your partner or other family members towards a systemic change that is healthier for everyone in the family.
If you have reached your breaking point and you would like support while you are pushing for systemic change in your relationship, please Register for an appointment with one of our Relationship Repair Associates today!
