Recently, I had a client say “I Miss Me More” to me who was in therapy working on repairing their relationship with self… Then I heard the country music song by Kelsea Ballerini last night, and I decided to dedicate today’s blog post to all my clients who are going through a breakup or divorce.
Of course, you know I am into helping people repair their relationships. However, sometimes a relationship is super unhealthy, and the relationship ends. Sometimes we must first repair a relationship with ourselves…
It is very common for people to start therapy after a breakup or divorce. Of course, people feel depressed at these times and, they want to explore how to not make the same relationship mistakes again.
A great focus during a breakup is to become the best version of yourself as a single person. The best time to meet a new partner and get in a new relationship is later when you have become perfectly happy being single. As Kelsea says, “I forgot I had dreams, I forgot I had wings.” Check out the song here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b01QbOY-He0
Sometimes it is in the middle of a breakup after a difficult relationship that people finally heal whatever wounds kept them from going for their dreams. Instead of finding real help and healing, they got into a bad relationship to try to heal their childhood or young adult wounds.
In therapy after a breakup, we focus on getting in touch with what makes you special. We want to increase your self-esteem and diminish whatever anxiety you have about yourself. In addition, it is so important to realize that although you may have loved your ex, it’s important to choose “I LOVE ME MORE.” I hope you love yourself enough to evaluate whether your past relationship was healthy, and if it wasn’t then loving yourself more is way more important!
Now is the time to love yourself and take risks, get out there and do what you love.
Many years ago, when I was single, I danced every week, joined a kickboxing class, went out to the movies (sometimes by myself), lost weight, tried a new hairstyle, went to the symphony for the first time, and much more!
A breakup should be a time of self-discovery. When you are content and happy with yourself, you will be more ready for a new healthier relationship. You always want to engage in a new relationship from a place of strength and contentment. You will not feel desperate within yourself – and if a dating partner does not have the qualities you are looking for or starts to mistreat you – then you can go right back to the happy single life instead of staying in a relationship just because you don’t want to be alone!
I hope you realize how much you missed yourself, how much you were and are missing out on! Loving yourself and discovering how to be content and happy with yourself is vital to repairing your relationship with yourself.
If you need support and healing during your breakup and time of self-discovery, please Contact one of our Repair Associates today!