You thought you were finally in the perfect relationship.
Although you were not ready to announce it to anyone, you admittedly had thoughts of “I think this might be ‘the one.’”
Now, after a couple of disagreements that turned into long, drawn out text battles and your partner keeping you awake half the night — you’re fantasizing about going back into the single world.
Sure, being single has it’s problems and you’re not really prepared to start paying cover charges or sift through Match profiles, but that’s nothing compared to THIS zany world of relationship conflict.
Many people have thoughts of helplessness and hopelessness when they are in the middle of a fight with their significant other. You’re not alone if you have thoughts and feelings such as:
- I’m not cut out for this. I’m obviously not boyfriend/girlfriend material.
- I really should end this before I get invested any deeper.
- I am a complete failure at relationships.
- I have done so many nice things in this dating relationship, but no matter how hard I try there is always a problem that comes up.
I know you’re very discouraged, but before you tail and run, I want you to think about a few important tips to help you to resolve relationship problems quickly and effectively so you can have fun and skip over the Match profiles to get there.
1. Don’t take a problem or a fight as a symbol that you are not cut out for relationships
You’ll have to deal with problems and complaints in every relationship. For example, even in a customer relationship if you go to your favorite restaurant repeatedly, sooner or later there is going to be a problem and the food will come out wrong and you’ll most likely complain about it.
Your love life is no different — problems and complaints are normal even if you are a great boyfriend matched up with a great girl. So, don’t take a problem or a fight as proof that you are not meant to be matched up!
2. View relationship complaints and problems as a sign that your significant other trusts you enough to discuss the issues
They are investing in you, so even though it’s tough try not to take it a sign that you should not invest in the relationship. Even if it turns into a fight, your significant other is still doing business with you and if you learn how to work out your disagreements you will have even more loyalty with your partner.
Have you ever had a business mess up something, but then when you complain they provide excellent customer service and you become the most loyal customer ever? The same can be true in romantic relationships if you play your cards right!
3. Relationship conflict and fights with your significant other almost always start with one person complaining about something that they view as a problem
Frequently, people become defensive and they either fight or flee, which escalates the conflict and only makes the problem worse. We have all seen this at a customer service counter.
Someone brings up a complaint and if the representative does not know what they are doing, the customer can get pretty irate. The same thing frequently happens in romantic relationships, but can be prevented if you know what to do.
4. Knowing that complaints are normal and can even improve the loyalty and intimacyin your romantic relationship, open up your Relationship Repair Counter™
The RRC is basically a customer service counter for your relationships, including your romantic relationships. I teach people six steps for both filing and resolving the complaints of their significant other.
This is not impossible or difficult, and if you have ever had to do customer service for your job the attitudes and steps are almost the same to working out problems with other people. Most of my clients just have to change their mentality about complaints – and focus on diffusing the complaint before it escalates into conflict.
If you are not sure how effective your significant other’s Relationship Repair Counter is and what to do about it, please take my free relationship quiz to grade the RRC effectiveness in your relationship!
You can do this! In my opinion, it is important that you don’t break up with someone just because you get confused when there is conflict, especially if you think they might just have the qualities you are looking for in a long-term partner.
I want to help you take the confusion and drama out of conflict, so you can get clear about your relationship. It is so important that you to choose your partner for the right reasons — because they have the qualities you are looking for and because you both have a Relationship Repair Counter™!
So, even though it’s tempting to go back to that happy, conflict-free single life, if you really think this person might be ‘the one’, I hope you will stick it out and learn how to diffuse conflict quickly.
I want you to experience the fun and wonder of being with ‘the one’ you are meant to be with without all the drama and fighting!