Relationships are not always sparks, roses, and romance…although we wish they could be! Relationships require hard work and for both partners to be fully invested. It’s easy to get lost in the daily routine. When you have kids, jobs, and responsibilities you tend to put your marriage last. Balance is extremely important in your relationships and nurturing your marriage needs to be a top priority. It’s easy to lose that spark when you’re consumed with everyday routine. Here are some tips to help bring back that spark with your partner:
Have a weekly date night– This is a MUST in your relationship. You do not even need to hire a sitter and go out, however that is something to definitely splurge on. If getting a sitter is not an option then you can plan what I call an “at home date night” after the kids are in bed or send older children off to another part of the house. Having that date planned out ahead of time each week will give you both something to look forward to and it will give you both a chance to reconnect.
Use your creativity– Learn to be creative and spontaneous. Join a sports team together, learn a new skill together, relive your first date, surprise your mate with a weekend getaway. There’s so many things you can do to keep your life together exciting, you just need to tap into your creativity and think outside the box.
Shake up the routine– Wake up-work-take care of kids-go to bed. Sound familiar? It’s your life everyday. Try and shake things up a bit so each day can be a brand new day. Commit to 30 mins a day doing something different with your spouse. For example, if you grab your coffee on the run before work, instead get up an extra 30 minutes and sit down with your spouse and have coffee together. Create a calendar together and add something new to experience together each day.
Turn off the electronics– This one can be difficult for those of us who are constantly plugged into the world via the television, internet and smart phones. Pick a day during the week where you turn everything off and tune into each other. Instead of watching your evening shows pull out your family board games and laugh together. Take a long walk together. Work on a house project together. You’ll be pleasantly surprised how much you appreciate that time unplugged.
Be sexy– Dress to impress. Wear his favorite perfume. Go out of your way to create a romantic bedroom with silky sheets, fresh flowers, soft lights, candles and music. Compliment each other. Talk about sex. Indulge in each others fantasies. Kiss often. Open up to your partner. Be playful. Try something new and adventurous. Write a love letter and mail it to your spouse. Just as you love to feel sexy and desirable so does your spouse so if you want to be treated that way then you need to play the part.
Reigniting your relationship can be as simple as carrying out those small loving acts daily to make your partner feel acknowledged and loved for who they are. When you take the time and you put the effort to add that spark back into your relationships the rewards will be much greater than you expect!
For more help with reigniting the spark in your relationship, please contact Dr. Stephanie to schedule a Couples Therapy appointment. In addition, Sherrie Ludwick has specialized training in sex therapy so if are looking to improve your sex life please schedule an appointment with Sherrie today!