Many people often ask the question, How can I get my ex back?
Your friends and family tell you it’s time to move on but you hold on desperately to love you’ve lost. You need to take a good look first at what went wrong in your relationship. What factors contributed to your break up? How did your ex treat you? Is there a change that you need to make in your life to ensure you are in the right place this time around. If you and your ex had an abusive or unhealthy relationship then you need to listen to family and friends and move on. If you had a great relationship but uncontrollable situations, events, or circumstances triggered your break up, you may have a chance if you play your cards right and if timing is right. Here are a few tips to help you get yourself ready to win back an ex.
It starts with YOU– Are you happy being alone? If the answer is no then you are not ready for any relationship. You need to work on finding happiness within yourself first. Recognize what is not working in your life and make the steps to change these things. Think about what you want out of life. Write down goals. Take time to write in a journal to express your thoughts. Visualize your best self and start replacing negative thoughts with positive. Take care of your mental and physical health. Make sure you look and feel good about yourself. If you can’t find happiness within yourself then you won’t be able to find happiness with any partner, let alone the ex you want to win back!
Let go of the urgency and neediness– It’s okay to have the hope of winning your ex back but do not make your world revolve around it. Your ex probably expects you to stay in contact if you still have feelings for them. You’re tempted to sending loving messages, and I miss you quotes but you need to come off uninterested. Let them see that you are happy on your own. Your goal is to make your ex see what they are missing out on. If you respond to their every message, call, or text then you’re just making it easy for them to keep you at an arms length. Back off and give them some time to see that you’ve changed for the better, you’ve learned lessons, and that you don’t need them in your life to be happy. Have faith that things will work out for the best and remain positive, especially in public situations. If they see you moping around or hear that you’re depressed because of the break up then this will not help your chances of rekindling the romance.
Start Slow– Once feel happy on your own then you can slowly try to rekindle your old relationship. Start off by sending a message saying something like, “hey, I’m at your favorite restaurant and thought of you! Hope you’re doing well” See what response you get and go from there. Maybe ask to meet up for coffee to catch up on life. Focus on friendship and rebuilding that foundation. Don’t have unrealistic expectations. Your ex may not be ready to jump back into things with you. Understand where they are coming from and be willing to take things slowly.
Let go of the past– If you’re going to start new with your ex then you need to forgive each other and let go of any hurtful things that may have happened between the two of you in the past. Get rid of those bad relationship habits that did not work for you in the past. View the relationship as a brand new chapter in your lives. Learn from those mistakes and don’t carry old baggage into your new fresh start.
Finally, stay open to other relationships. Sometimes things work out for an ex, but while you are working on improving yourself and being patient, you just must hit it off with the person you are meant to be with! For more dating advice, please call into my Weekly Radio Show or Contact Me to schedule a phone coaching appointment.