A lot of people are confused about how to create an amazing relationship! They try all kinds of different things including things such as giving a small gift or engaging in a kind gesture. However, no matter how great people are as a parent, a lover, a partner, a coworker, or a friend…. there are still some factors that can cause Relationship Failure according to research!
For example, defensiveness is one of the top predictors for Relationship Failure and Dissatisfaction. If you have not heard of this metaphor before, just imagine that there is a Customer Service Counter for your relationship. Imagine that your partner comes to you with a concern and instead of listening and helping to find a solution, you get defensive…
Many people have no problem imagining this because defensiveness happens in their relationships every day. In a customer-business relationship this causes trust to break and loyalty decreases. Depending upon the importance of the business relationship, the customer might even become angry and contemptuous.
However, defensiveness can be fixed with an important mindset shift. If you get defensive when your partner brings up complaints or concerns, you must change your mindset in order to improve your relationship in 2019!
Instead, think about how an excellent customer service person responds and open up what I call your “Relationship Repair Counter (RRC).” To keep your RRC in tip-top shape, you then need to follow certain steps such us telling the person who is bringing up a complaint that they are important to you and you value them. Of course, then you should listen and validate them before asking the ever-important question, “How can I resolve this for you?” or “How can I make this up to you?”
I always say that having a RRC in tip-top-shape is the “easiest hardest thing you will ever do in your relationships.” It sounds easy and it makes sense to a lot of people. In the moment, when someone you have a relationship with brings a complaint to you about your behavior or personality it is not easy. Having an RRC takes work!!! However, non-defensiveness is one of the most important predictors for you having a successful life and happy relationships with the people whom you live and work with.
Almost everyone needs some help and tweaking with how to apply these concepts in their life. If having a RRC in tip-top-shape is something you need to discuss, please Contact Us to meet with one of our Relationship Repair Experts!!!