I have been obsessed with my Christmas list. No joke. I started buying presents in October this year because my private practice gets so busy during the actual holiday season! I am almost done buying and wrapping presents… I went full speed ahead as soon as Thanksgiving weekend was over and it was Cyber Monday.
However, I am also reflecting on the true Presents we give our family? Like most people, I have a sense that LOVE is the ultimate gift that we can give our family. When I have a relationship that is not reconciled there is a sadness in my heart that no Present with Bows and Ribbon can turn into LOVE. Right???
As I see it, the most common reason for fighting and relationship problems between family members is defensiveness.
A son tries to tell his father something that is bothering them and instead of listening and reconciling his child to him, he says “I don’t like your tone.” The child feels frustrated and pulls away from his father, he holds a long list of resentments and anger in his heart.
A wife starts to share with her husband something he did that was insensitive and hurt her feelings. Because she wants to reconcile with him and feel close to him. However, he defends himself because he feels attacked, and she only feels more hurt. She is more likely to pull away and not share the next time.
And so it goes with many relationships people have with their mother, their friend, their church members, even people they work with.
There are countless opportunities every single week to give our family Real. True. Presents. The Gift of LOVE. Love is humble and it is not defensive. Love says, “I am sorry for hurting you.” Love says no matter what your tone is, I will diffuse your anger and hurt. I will serve you with Love. Love says, “How can I make it up to you” and “What can I do to make things right between us?” And LOVE is the best present that we can give our family. If we don’t have LOVE all the presents in the world can seem pretty fake…
If you need some help and support learning how to have reconciliation and LOVE in your relationships, we hope you will schedule an appointment on our therapy portal. Let’s wrap up some Real. True. Presents this holiday season !!!