Relationships can be difficult to begin with but add distance and it may seem impossible. Long distance relationships cause many issues such as high expectations, financial concerns and inability to judge the state of the relationship. These issues are likely to cause extra stress for both partners. I have seen couples who have a successful long distance relationship, and ultimately they do end up in a happy long term relationship living in the same house! However, if you want your long distance relationship to work then you both will need to put in the extra effort.
Here are some tips to help you keep you long distance relationship strong:
Keep communication strong – With technology these days, the opportunity to start and maintain long distance relationships is much easier. Make sure you plan weekly/daily phone calls, Skype sessions, or face time. When you stay up to date on each others daily activities you can feel connected. Schedule an actual time and hold to it. Send letters, packages, and pictures. Keep serious conversations to phone calls not text messages. Texts can quickly be misconstrued and cause unnecessary drama. However you should send flirty or thinking of you texts just to keep the fire going. Keep the messages short and sweet. Make sure when you are communicating you are always making plans to see each other this way you’ll both have something to look forward to together.
Stop assuming – If they missed your call or forgot to send that message don’t freak out! Stop thinking “He must be with someone else.” “She doesn’t want to talk to me”. Think reasonably about the situation. Maybe his meeting really did run late. Maybe she ran out of the house without her phone. Life happens. Stop assuming that your partner is being unfaithful because you are not there physically to see for yourself. Stop questioning every little thing – you create what you believe and if you are always worried that your partner is cheating then you’re giving off messages of insecurity which could ultimately lead to a break up. Don’t make them feel guilty for having fun without them.You need to Live your life and have fun! If your partner truly loves you they will want to see that you are enjoying time with family and friends. And they deserve that too.
Distance is temporary – If both of you are at the point that you’re in a serious relationship then you have hope that you’ll be together one day. Come up with a solid plan for the future. Write down your goals as a couple. Plan to start saving money together for your future so that you can have the means to come together someday. Long distance relationships have to be temporary in order to meet the needs of both people. Love is not enough, you both eventually will crave that physical contact and that’s an important piece to a love relationship. When you do move to the same city, I recommend that you spend at least one year dating and courting in the same geographical location before getting married or making a more permanent commitment. It is important to truly get to know each other and find out your compatibility while living in the same location before you commit for a life long partnership!
Ask yourself is this worth it? Am I able truly get to know this person deeply enough or am I creating a fictional
partner in my head? Make sure you both know what you’re getting yourselves into so you do not set yourself up with unrealistic expectations. If it’s not working for you, don’t feel bad, let it go. Statistics for long-term long distance relationships are not promising, but sometimes they really do work out! However, if you do decide to let go it’s only a matter of time before you can meet a local partner who is a good match for you. If you have other dating questions or need relationship advice, please Contact Me to schedule an appointment or Call in to my Weekly Radio Show.