First dates can be intimidating! You’ve played out the scene in your head and created your ideal first date – but we all know that you can’t go by a script! You need to sort out whether or not you have a true connection and deal with those awkward unplanned moments.
During an awkward moment, try to reveal something interesting about yourself. Research shows that’s it’s important to share secrets and discuss controversial topics on a first date because it creates feelings of connection and it makes people happier with the interaction.
Here are a few tips to help you have that successful first date:
RELAX – Be yourself. Try not to get caught up in your thoughts-how can I win them over? Did that sound ridiculous? Do they like me?
BREATHE, in a few hours, you will know if they like you- or if you like them for that matter. Get to know each other by asking questions, making eye contact, laughing, and sharing stories. Be attentive- comment on their stories by saying positive things such as “That’s amazing” and “Thanks for sharing that with me.” Try to keep the conversation positive and don’t freak out if there is a moments of silence- take that moment to gaze in your date’s eyes or to make physical contact-such as gently touching their hand. The conversation will keep flowing if you have a connection.
BE RESPECTFUL – Dress appropriately. Put down your phone. Avoid dominating the conversation. Listen. Smile. Watch your alcohol intake. Don’t talk about your past relationships. Offer to pay the bill. Be on time. Have manners. Encourage. Keep your promise. Create boundaries. Think about how you want to be treated….and treat your date the same way. You usually get what you give and if you give respect, you’ll be respected.
CHOOSE THE PERFECT LOCATION – Try to avoid going to see a movie or show. You want to be able to use your time to talk and interact. Try a place that you feel is in your element. If you are a good pool player, then stop by the pool hall for a quick game. You will feel comfortable and more likely to open up in your comfort zone. Avoid crowded loud bars. You want to be able to focus on each other not distracted by other people. Go to a local carnival, festival or an adventurous place that will create powerful memories. You want to make sure you stand out by creating exciting unique experiences that they won’t be able to forget. This doesn’t mean you can’t take your date to your favorite restaurant. But if you want to score a second date it’s more likely they’ll remember a night of adventure. Fun activities are also known to break the ice and reduce first date anxieties.
Just be yourself and expect to have a good time. If you don’t get that second date- then obviously someone who is a better match is out there for you!
For more advice about dating and relationships, please contact me to schedule an appointment!